Eggplant Advocacy

I am speaking on behalf of all eggplants. This is enough! Basta! Basta!

Why should our beloved eggplant be tarnished by phallic symbolism?

Can you believe the injustice? What has the humble, hard-working eggplant done to us?

Who among us has not enjoyed a delicious eggplant parmesan? Well, thank the eggplant.

Who has decided that we have accepted the horrid use of the eggplant emoji? Who authorized this shit?

I vote to strike the eggplant emoji from the emoji dashboard! Bring back the banana! He can take it! But leave our poor, sweet eggplant alone!